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At
what age did you start writing and why did you start?
I
started writing at 13. It was a way for me to come to terms with my life and
what I was experiencing, though obviously that wasn't how I understood it
at the time. There was a whole combination of things going on which I didn't
really have a way of understanding school, peers, my adoption. Writing was
a way for me to get my real feelings down without offending anyone or shouting.
Looking back there was a confusion which I suppose you could call an identity
crisis.
Was this identity crisis due to you being of mixed race?
That
was a part of it, though I think it's a stereotype to say that being of mixed
race heritage leads to problems of identity. I was adopted into a white family
when I was seven, which was difficult. It still is in some ways. My sense
of self is radically diff erent from theirs. Even at seven years old you understand
a lot about how the world sees you and how that differs from the way you see
yourself. My self-awareness and my friends confirmed my blackness in a way
which my adoptive parents didn't really understand. They had a very white
liberal attitude which came into conflict with the way I constructed my identity.
I'm not saying that they didn't try to understand, but the way my identity
was constructed as a child and a black person was very unreal and alienating.
I was never really consulted or asked what I wanted or how I felt. People
made assumptions about me and about what I was feeling. So my writing was
a way of expressing my frustration and anger at this, and at the way society
controls and restricts you.
How
did your adoptive parents react to your poetry?
They
were very positive and encouraged me with anything creative that I chose to
do. I think that they knew that this was an outlet for my anger and frustration,
which often was against them . My poetry was a focus, and by using my emotions
as a creative force it enabled me to talk openly with my parents from a very
young age. I was and am in awe of my adoptive father; his was the first voice
that gave me self worth, and is one of the most po werful philosophers I know.
He taught while we were very little, and then went on to write and publish
a series called 'Lifeskills'. I am extremely proud of him and keep my writers
name, Scally, in honour of him. (Also because it is in ironic harmony with
who I am!) For their encouragement, and their belief, I am grateful.
How would you describe your poetry then and now?
Poetry
was my therapy. It was also a stimulus; when I became interested in poetry
I became interested in books. When I first started it was just a raw comment
on myself, a self absorbed reflection on my situation. And it was a way of
taking an interest in the world. I know that sounds like a contradiction but
it isn't. My writing and reading then was about going out to others in order
to end up back at myself. I still do that to a degree, only now, when I write
for myself I write for others as well. What I write reflects on the emotions
and hurts of women, their loves and laughs, and their shades of colour.
What is your subject matter?
That depends. I believe everything around us is an energy; I write when I
get something from that energy. Usually it is a reflection on circumstances,
family, the people around me, but not always. I don't make any conscious decisions
about what I write, or if I do it never really seems to have the same soul.
What do you think you achieve in your writing?
Personally,
I achieve an outlet which enables me to survive and grow. Its an empowerment
thing. If one person comes up to me and says 'I know exactly what you're talking
about', then I've achieved. I try to use my voice as a way of helping other
people to find theirs.
Do
you collaborate with anyone else?
It's
very important to me to work with other poets, because I feel that I still
need to mature. The other writers I work with help me to ask new questions,
about the world and about myself. You need new questions in order to develop,
not just as a writer but as a human being. That's one of the main reasons
I also work with singers. My poetry is naturally rhythmical and emotional
and defiant, singing expresses the feeling in my words beautifully. It
is also a challenge, to find the right weight for the words so that they
can inhabit the voice instead of being dragged along by the rhythm or
music. For a lot of my poems, singing brings out the sound of emotion,
the echo of emotion. That's not always the case. Each poem reflects on
what it should be, so if a poem needs voices then it will be a song, or
if it needs dramatic performance then that's what it will be; like MotherGod, I'd never turn that into a song.
Who were your major influences?
God,
Bob Marley, Malcolm X and Maya Angelou. She
was the first strong black female writer I identified with as a teenager.
The first book by her that I read was "I Know Why The Cage Bird Sings".
It's stayed with me ever since.
What tradition do you think your writing belongs to?
My
own mixed race tradition. I am the daughter of immigrant parents, one from
the Caribbean and the other from Ireland. that there is a connection with
black women writers, and Beyond Irish women writers, all concerned with the
society we live in and the generally. We're manifold ways it oppresses and
as human beings. us, as women
When
did you first start performing?
I
was encouraged to perform as part of winning a competition run by a local
poetry organisation. I found it extremely nerve-racking to start off with,
but after a while I learnt how to give life to my performance. I think I realised
that performa nce is about helping your audience understand your words; you
walk part of the way towards them so that they will walk the rest of the way
towards you. It doesn't always work of course, but that's what I aim to achieve.
What inspires you to continue to write?
Basically
I write as a response to what happens around me, in my life and the community
I live in. My work reflects my dual cultural heritage and allows me to be
myself. I now reinforce the positiveness of being mixed race through my writing
and performance. For me it's a liberation and a chance to understand.
Some
of your work has been described as controversial. Was that intentional?
Being
mixed race is controversial to some people. The way I express what I see as
the truth of my position causes some people to feel uncomfortable because
they have to question their own prejudices about people of mixed race backgrounds.
If they find me controversial because of that I don't mind. Hopefully some
people will understand what I'm trying to say and that will allow them to
make choices to better themselves.
So, what happened in 1997?
I
wrote about 50 poems and am planning a book which is currently being compiled
and edited and rewritten! I've also done alot of performances this year which
I've found very empowering.
So
what should we look out for in 98?
In
December of last year I finally traced my birth father. I feel that I've come
full circle and my poetry has begun to reflect the strength and struggle of
handling this new truth in my life. I think for me my past needed to be found
in all its ? for me to accept my life as now and for the future.
How would you like to be remembered?
As
a mother who car ed for her children and taught/gave them unconditional love
so that they could take possession of themselves. And through the memory and
strength of my descendents.
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